What Do We Do With Grief?

            Father Andrew Greeley died this week.  He was a great priest of the Roman Catholic Church who had a great deal to say to all of us about life and faith.  His books were on the best seller lists and they taught us all something profound about life and about God.  This all stemmed from Father Greeley’s own faith.  He leaves a legacy of truth and honor behind him.  He was often a critic of the church, he bravely stood up to his Roman Catholic friends and he confronted all of us with our hypocrisy and the way that we abuse our faith in the living of our lives.

            We also lost Jean Stapleton, who was memorable as Edith Bunker who with Carol O’Connor taught us so much about bigotry and family life.  Hers was a remarkable life.  She invented the caustic high-pitched voice that she used on the show and showed us another side of the Bunkers.  We loved her as we were often annoyed at Archie. 

            Andrew Greeley’s and Jean Stapleton’s deaths occur to me because of what I have been  reading in First Kings about Elijah and the widow in Zerephath when he brought her son back from death after he died and also in Luke’s gospel about the raising back to life by Jesus of the only son of the woman in Nain.  These risings from the dead prefigure Jesus’ own rising and give us a hint of what it is that God is trying to do in this world. 

            Death is something that we all will ultimately face in our own lives and in the lives of those whom we love.  It isn’t something that we keep in mind always, but it is a firm part of our existence.  The older that I get, the more often I am aware that losing friends and neighbors is a part of life.  Grief is no stranger to any of us. 

            What impresses me in these biblical stories is that God is moving not so much to restore life to those who have died (death is a natural part of life), but to sooth the grief of those who are mourning.  That is a wonderful and beautiful thing that God does in this world.  We have all had seasons of grief.  Grief is not something that simply leaves us after a period of time.  Sometimes we seem to inhabit our grief and it becomes a part of the way that we live.  Loneliness is also an accompaniment of grief.    What we watched in Boston after the bombing at the marathon and the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut was incredible grief of parents for their children and of relatives for their own.  The communities gathered around those people and gave them some measure of hope in those terrible times of grief. 

            I think that is one of the most important things that we do as a Christian community – to help each other in the terrible moments of our lives; to surround each other with love that is so deep that it sooths the grief that ultimately comes to all of us.

            Sometimes the grief isn’t really apparent.  We tend to hide it and cry our tears in private, so as not to bother anyone.  I know that is a mistake.  Making sure that others know what we are feeling and how our losses have affected our lives is very important.  It is the only way that we can help each other in these terrible moments.

            After Jesus was crucified, his followers descended into terrible grief.  They were lost without their leader and, even though they had repeatedly been told; had no idea whatsoever that resurrection was a possibility.  When Easter finally dawned and the Lord came out of the tomb, the disciples were not only astonished, they were comforted in their grief.  Life coming out of death is the message here.  We are not alone in this world, even when loneliness seems to conquer us.  Our God loves us and won’t let our living end.  I don’t know what that looks like.  I shy away from trying to describe what we call “eternal life” and “Heaven”, but I know that God has something in mind for all of us.  Will we see each other again?  I hope so, but I don’t really know.  What I do know is that our grief will be assuaged and our hopes fulfilled. 

            When our dog died, the veterinarian gave us a beautiful story about the rainbow bridge, which I am sure you have all heard or read; that our animals are waiting for us at that mythological place where we will see them again.  That isn’t a story that is proof of anything at all except that the vet wanted to help us with our moment of grief.   That is a beautiful thing to do, and it is what the Christian community is here to do for us all through our terrible times. 

            May God bless us as a community and help us to see the hope that is always present even in the certainty of death.  God’s hope abounds always and results in the joy of abundant Love.