Divorce and Inclusion

            Divorce is a difficult thing.  Rosie and I have been together for sixty years and the times have not always been smooth.  When, after a twenty year career in radio and television, I decided to enter the priesthood and we moved to Alexandria, Virginia where I began my seminary training, it wasn’t easy.  Rosie went to work, our three kids went to new schools and I engrossed myself in my studies and in seminary life.  There were many moments when we wondered what we were doing and if we were going to make it. But we stayed together, worked most of it out and after three years of this, I graduated, was ordained and we began a new life as clergy and wife with a constellation of new problems and totally new identities.

            When I look back on it all, I am amazed that we were able to do it.  I thank God for the means and the ability to make it all work, and in all honesty, I would do it all again.  I love my wife and my new career and I know that we have thrived in it. 

            Our youngest daughter was involved in a divorce that I welcomed.  When I first met her husband to be, I didn’t like him at all. I tried to have conversations with him, but they went nowhere.  He seemed to be on another planet.   I really couldn’t say anything about my feelings to my daughter, she was a kid in love and my words would have only hurt her.  So I kept my mouth shut, walked her down the aisle at Christ Church and we had a glorious celebration.  We hoped against hope that everything would work out, but after several kids, it really didn’t work at all and she decided that enough was enough.  She left him and her life was much better.  She is now engaged to a man whom I like who lives in San Diego and eventually they will be married.   I feel good about her life and what she has been able to do.

            In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus talks to the Pharisees and to his disciples about divorce.  He emphasizes the harshness of the commandment, how God created us male and female and wants us to be together until death does us part, as the marriage service says so eloquently.  He tells his listeners that Moses gave them the option of divorce because of what he calls the “hardness of their hearts”, but says that the commandment stands.

            In recent times there has been an attempt to make those statements about divorce and family absolute; almost a part of the Ten Commandments.  Jesus continued his discussion with his disciples when they tried to keep children from coming to him by setting a child in their midst and telling them to let the children come to him and going on to say that one must accept God as a small child accepts.  There is a beauty to that that I can’t emphasize enough.

            What Jesus is speaking about in this passage from Mark are the commandments that he left with his disciples.  His command to love God with all of our heart, soul and mind and the corollary commandment to love our neighbor as we are loved ourselves are the cornerstone of what our Lord brought to this earth.  What these commandments offer us are the essence of inclusion; the inclusion of everyone within the fellowship that we have with each other and with our Lord.  Setting the child among them emphasizes that.  Include the children; include everyone.  That is the message that Jesus has for all of us.  Our politics sometimes become a message of exclusion.  Exclude the immigrants, exclude the gays or those who are divorced or incarcerated.  We climb on our high horses much too easily, including ourselves always, but failing to understand our responsibility to make sure that everyone has a part in this world.

             I think of the Pope travelling through Washington, New York and Philadelphia going to visit those in prison, and stopping his motorcade to receive children held up by their parents.  Those children were important to him and they are important to you and me.  Remember when you were a child and your parents told you about Santa Claus or the Easter bunny?  For at least some of your life you believed in those things.  I remember when my oldest daughter asked me in the car if Santa was real.  She had heard from a friend that it was only a story.  I told her that Santa was a symbol of our need to give and receive and that she needed to hold on to Santa in that way.  She cried because the wonder of Christmas lost a bit of its sparkle for her after that conversation, but she certainly kept it alive for her own kids. 

            Keeping that story alive in our hearts is what our faith is all about.  Knowing God as a child knows God is what we are called to do by our Lord.  The stories about Jesus and his life are not easy to hold onto.  Resurrection is a wonderful hope that none of us can know on this side of death’s door.  We hold onto it because our faith gives us a certainty that is impossible if we simply rely on what some people call “facts”. 

            Love and marriage don’t always work out the way that we hope.  Neither does life.  How many people do you know who have problems?  The older that we get it seems that there are more problems.  There are always ups and downs and sometimes the downs get the better of us.  Also, how many people do you know who seem to cope with the difficulties that they face?  It is amazing to me how coping seems to work, particularly in a community of people where love seems to be the norm.  That is what church is supposed to be about.  It is a community of care where people can share their faith, their joys and their sorrows.  When we lean on our Lord and keep our faith alive in our hearts, the down times can have a way of giving us hope that can bring us back to joy.

Welcoming God into our Lives

             Jesus has finally come to the crucial moment in his work in this world.  He has shared with his disciples exactly what will come: how he will be turned over to the Elders and the Pharisees and will be killed, but on the third day will rise again.  He continues to tell them this story as they go through Galilee, but they don’t understand what he is saying.  How could they?  That is information that is too difficult for them to comprehend, and indeed it is difficult for all of us to understand also.  I’ve never seen a resurrection.  I have presided at a lot of funerals where I wish that I could simply snap my fingers and bring back the person who had died and give them back to their grieving families; but I never could do that.  All that I have to offer is the story that Jesus not only told his disciples, but lived out in truth.  Our Lord rose from the dead on the third day and walked among us once again.   

            That isn’t much comfort for someone who has just experienced the death of a loved one.  Grief is certain and difficult.  It involves tears and sometimes deep despair.  We need each other when this happens.  We need the comfort of community to know that we are still loved and cared for even when the worst has happened.  Many of you have been through this in one way or another and have had friends and neighbors come to your aid with care and comfort.

            I had a dear woman in my congregation whose husband died after a very long illness.  She was showered with casseroles from friends and neighbors.  When I visited her, she asked me what she was supposed to do with all of that food.  I told her to eat what she could, give away what was possible and to thank everyone for their kindness.  She was comforted by that and got through that time and went on with her life.  Those casseroles were helpful and each of them was an expression of hope for her.  Sometimes we think that we can’t do much at times like that; but the truth is that something simple like giving food can amount to a great deal. 

            In Mark’s story of the disciples and Jesus going through Galilee, the Lord notices that the disciples have been talking to each other on the journey.  He asks them what they were talking about and they were silent because what they had been doing was arguing about which of them is the greatest.  Jesus sat them down and told them that whoever wants to be first must be the servant of all.  He then put a child in their midst and said: Whoever welcomes a child like this, welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.  In other words, our humility leads us into the arms of God.  I think that in our concern for power and success, we forget the role that humility plays in our standing before God.  It appears to me that his disciples got this important message.

            I am very impressed with what happened to Jesus’ followers after the resurrection.  They went on with their ministries, lived out their lives in full and certain knowledge that their risen Lord walked beside them.  All of them, except John, were killed for their faith.  But they all knew that what awaited them was a joyful reunion with the Lord that they loved so dearly.  And with all of those who have gone before them.   I don’t think that we always know that.  Mostly, I think that we look upon death as an ending, not a beginning. 

            But the reason for our faith is certainty; certainty in a very uncertain world, the certainty that our Lord has given us with his resurrection.  What we all know about this life is that it will end.  None of us get out of this alive, is the old saw; but maybe we do.  Maybe the resurrection is the promise that God gives to us by way of the life of Jesus the Christ.  It is a simple thing really, the knowledge that we will not die but live again.  And the truth of it is that the power to make that happen comes not from us, but from the God who loves us.  

            I was deeply moved by the picture of the young boy who drowned in the Middle East as a refugee fleeing the terrible war in Syria being held by his father.  Here is the possibility given to us to welcome children in the name of God.  Those refugees are not simply Europe’s crisis; this situation belongs to all of us.  It is essential that we find ways to help those beleaguered people out of the mess that we have some responsibility for creating.  When we are able to do that, we will be welcoming our Lord into our midst and in that way be a means to allow God a presence in our lives. I know that is what Jesus was teaching with his life, a life of humility and greatness. We don’t need our military industrial complex to do this; all that it takes is our resolve to be kind and gentle and to receive those who have no homes at all.  That would please our God and be the way for us to show the world the kindness in our hearts.  

The Need in our Midst

            I love the last verse of Psalm 19:

                        Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my
                        heart be acceptable in your sight, *
                        O LORD, my strength and my redeemer.

Clergy often use those words before preaching.  They are certainly good words that we all ought to keep in mind when we are speaking.  An awful lot of the problems of the world are created by the things that we say.  This current political circus is ample evidence of that.  The media take every word that is said by the politicians and those who want to be politicians and turn them around to mean whatever the media thinks is controversial.  Sometimes I just want to turn away from the television set when all of this stuff starts.  I get tired of the arguments and the posturing and the constant blaming.  I just wish that this election was over and we could get on with the things that need to be done in this country to help everyone.

            Politics is a flammable subject.  Sometimes the small things that we say can flame up into bitter arguments that threaten friendships.  It is important for us to learn to bridle our tongues, as James says in his letter.  It isn’t always important for us to win a political argument if it means losing a friend.  The art of compromise is an important thing for us to accomplish when we have disagreements.  In order to compromise, we need to learn to listen.  Listening is another of the ideas that we sometimes can’t seem to make happen.  That is where the trouble starts.  I think that I would faint if in one of the debates, one of the participants would say “I never thought of that” when his opponent made a point.  Listening doesn’t seem to me to rank very high in the list of political skills, and that is a shame.  The main reason that nothing seems to get done in our nation’s capitol is that those exalted elected leaders don’t listen to one another.  That is why we have gridlock in the government, and it is also why we sometimes have gridlock in our friendships. 

            Jesus was well aware of the importance of his reputation during his years among us.  At one point, he took his disciples aside and asked them a very important question:  Who do people say that I am? They answered him very quickly: Some say that you are John the Baptist, some Elijah, and some say that you are one of the prophets.  Then Jesus asked them the clinching question:  But who do you say that I am?  Peter quickly answered him:  You are the Messiah!

Jesus then told them not to tell anyone.  He then told them all that was going to happen to him, that he would undergo great suffering, be rejected by the elders, the chief Priests and the Scribes and be killed and after three days rise again.  Peter berated him for this and Jesus said to Peter: Get behind me Satan; you are setting your mind on human things, not things heavenly!  He then spoke to the crowd that had gathered telling them to take up their cross and to follow him.  He said: Those who want to save their life will lose it and those who lose their lives for my sake and the sake of the Gospel will save it.  Paradoxical words from our Lord, but certainly the truth that became the history of Jesus’ life on this earth.

            In that encounter is the crucial question for all of us:  Who do you say that I am?  It is crucial because it affects the way that we order our lives.  If Jesus is not the Christ, not the messiah, then we as humans can do whatever we want.   But if Jesus is truly the Son of God, God in human form, then we have an obligation to follow and to listen and to order our lives around the things that he not only told us to do, but showed us what to do with his life. 

            Several weeks ago, a woman came into the church that I attend asking for help.  Her car was almost out of gas and she and her family had spent the night sleeping in the car with very little resource.  With the help of a couple of the members of that parish, she got her car full of gas, a few dollars in her pocket and her family sent on their way.  That is exactly what we are asked to do by our Lord to the strangers who show up among us.  She wasn’t turned away; nobody said that they couldn’t help her; they just did some small things to make her life a bit more comfortable.  That isn’t something that I want to trumpet to the world to tell everyone what wonderful people church is; but I want to tell all of you about it so that you can see the beautiful core of the Gospel that resides in that place.  May we continue to do as our Lord did and take care of what we find in front of us.  God bless all of you for your faith and for your willingness to share what you have with others.  That is exactly what God has in mind for all of us and for this world

Helping Panhandlers

            There was an article in the paper the other day that said that people were complaining about the panhandlers downtown during some of the celebrations.  I’m not surprised at the panhandlers, but I am a bit disappointed in the complaints.  The last time that Rosie and I went downtown to see a show at the Benedum, there was a panhandler on the corner who was simply asking for money.  Rosie gave him something and we crossed the street to go to the theater.  All of a sudden the panhandler was behind us giving Rosie a leaflet that she had dropped when she gave him his money.  It wasn’t a big deal, the leaflet was simply one that she had picked up at the parking garage advertising something.  And I don’t tell you all of this to brag about giving the man some money.  I tell you this because of the simple act of kindness toward us by that man who could have just left the leaflet to stay on the ground.  I was really touched by that effort and I won’t ever forget it.  Here was common humanity between us and them; the givers and the receivers.  I’m not really sure which are which.

            Yes, there are a lot of panhandlers downtown.   I’m not surprised that they turn up during the festivals.  There are a lot of people at those things.  That seems to me to be a perfect time to ask for some help from the people who obviously have some help to give.  It doesn’t take much to give a little.  Those people are just trying to get something to tide them over.  Yes, they will be back tomorrow, and no they don’t necessarily have jobs.  Some of them have been unemployed for a long time.  But we don’t need to ask those kind of questions.  Just take them as they come and listen to what they ask. 

            There is a sharp divide over the rich and the poor in this country.  Those who are poor are always being blamed by the rich and told to take care of themselves.  Sometimes that is a very difficult thing for them to do.  Most of those who are poor didn’t choose to be that way; circumstances have just forced them into poverty.  I think that it is the job of the rest of us to take that condition seriously and do as much as we can to help.  Making sure that we are not being ripped off by calculating thieves seems to me to be too much of a job.  Just give them the money and let them get on with their lives.  Somebody always says, “Well, they will only go and buy drugs or whiskey”.  Certainly that might happen, but they also might use the money to take care of themselves or their family.  That is also possible.  I think that I would rather hope for that, rather than insure that the money is spent wisely.  I don’t even think that I always spend my money wisely. 

            James, in his epistle has some words for us who make distinctions between rich and poor.  He writes:                        
                                   If a person with gold rings and fine clothes comes into 

                            your assembly, and if a poor person in dirty clothes also comes

                            in, and if you take notice of the one wearing the fine clothes

                            and say, "Have a seat here, please," while to the one who is poor

                            you say, "Stand there," or, "Sit at my feet," have you not made

                            distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil
                            thoughts?

            James is right on target with this.  It is easy for us to judge those who have need.  The papers are full of these kind of judgements.  We always want to make sure that those who are getting handouts deserve them.  But we don’t really deserve what we have either.  It is really by the Grace of God that we are supplied with what we have.  I’m always amazed by people who are substantially rich who think that they did it all by themselves.  That is generally not true.  Mostly we get where we are partly by our own effort, but also by a lot of help from our friends and from many people who we don’t really know at all.   

            In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus encounters two people who are in need of healing.  The first one is a Syrophonoecian woman with a daughter who is very sick.  She asks Jesus for help and he says that it isn’t right to take the children’s food and feed it to the dogs.  She replied to him that even the dogs eat the crumbs that have fallen to the floor.  Jesus heals her daughter, and I think in that encounter that he learned something himself.  Later he encounters a man who was deaf and unable to speak.  Jesus simply took him aside and healed him.  Never did Jesus ask if the man deserved to be healed.  He simply did what was needed. 

            That is God’s word for us when we are confronted by need.  Simply do what is necessary to take care of the need.  Don’t ask too many questions.  Don’t let your culture dictate what you are able to do.  Help those who come to you and you will be blessed indeed.