The story of Jesus walking on the water is another of those fantastic stories about him that always gives us pause. You will remember that John the Baptist had been executed by Herod and that Jesus has taken some time for himself to be away to grieve for his cousin. The crowds found him and he spent the day with them. After the crowds left at the end of the day, Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him in the boat and went up on the mountain to have some time in prayer.
By evening, the disciples were far from the land and the boat was being battered by a headwind and the sea. Early the next morning, Jesus came walking across the sea toward the boat. The disciples, seeing this, cried out in great fear, but Jesus spoke to them saying, "take heart, it is I, do not be afraid." Peter, always the most impetuous of the disciples, replied to him: "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water". Jesus told him to come, and Peter got out of the boat and started to walk across the water toward Jesus. But quickly he noticed the strong wind, became frightened and began to sink.
"Lord, save me," he cried out and Jesus immediately reached out his hand, caught him and held him up. "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Jesus asked Peter. When Jesus got into the boat, the disciples worshiped him saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."
Now, what is this story all about?
It certainly isn't about Jesus walking on the water, which is what everyone always points to. Rather, I think it is a story about Peter's faith. Jesus never really did tricks. Whatever he did always had a point to it. It is easy to focus on the strange, the miraculous, and miss the point of what is going on. Faith isn't really very easy. Trusting in what we don't know, or aren't sure of is really hard for most of us. We like it much better when there is certainty. We can trust that.
After we retired, Rosie and I moved to Alpine Lake, a resort community in West Virginia. Alpine Lake is in Preston County, high in the mountains with a wonderful golf course, and a tight community of people; but it is rather remote from just about everything else. I remember driving a half hour to get to a grocery store.
We were there for two years, and then I got a call to go and to become the interim rector of the church in Oak Hill, near Beckley in Southern West Virginia. Slowly, we began to recognize that work was important to me, and when the Oak Hill interim was over, we took another assignment in Charleston.
About that time, I began suffering from depression. I had little emotion, it was hard for me to get angry, or to show love, or anything else that stemmed from emotion. I also had some short term memory loss. There was no pain in all of this, but it was obvious to me and to Rosie that something was wrong. A doctor prescribed some anti-depressants, but none of them worked. We were very frustrated, I needed my life back, but I had no idea of what to do.
Finally, my doctor suggested that I get an MRI to see if there was something going on in my brain. The test detected a large menengioma on the left frontal lobe of my brain. It was like a natural lobotomy. I had all of the symptoms. A wonderful team of neurologists had a practice in Charleston and I went to them to see what they could do for me. I was assigned to a new surgeon who was on their staff. I was his first patient in Charleston.
He told me that the surgery was not difficult and that he could do it easily. I did all of the preparation and went to the hospital for the operation. I spent quite a bit of time in prayer over this. I had no control over it at all.
I remember lying on the operating table before the anaesthetic was given to me thinking to myself, I have no idea how this is going to come out, but however it comes out, I know that I will be all right. I felt calm and more or less collected as it all began.
The surgery went well, the tumor was removed and I began the recovery process which went on for a year and a half. My daughters were wonderful and my wife is an angel. Without them I have no idea how I would have recovered. What struck me after it was all over was the miracle of it. I had had the tumor for years, it was very slow growing. When we were in the Preston County mountains, I had no real access to excellent medical care. Somehow, I was moved to Oak Hill, then to Charleston where I met up with a young surgeon who created an excellent outcome for my problem.
Every time that I read the Gospel story of Peter trying to walk on the water toward Jesus, It think of my own dilemma. "Lord, save me!", Peter cries. That echoes the cry from my heart after I found out about my tumor. "Where is your faith, why do you doubt?", said Jesus to Peter. That is what I heard also in the operating room.
Faith is such an elusive, difficult thing to define. Ir means putting your hope and your trust in something beyond yourself. To believe that somehow, the God whom we worship and love will lift us out of the depths, because he loves us too.
I have been with a lot of people when things didn't turn out very well in a crisis. I know also that their prayers were heard by God. I think back to my attitude on that operating table. However this turns out, I thought, I know that I will be all right. For me, that is the depth of faith. My certainty is that whatever befalls us in this life, we are in the hands of the God who loves us all infinitely.
Jesus loved Peter as he lifted him out of the depths of the water. He will do that for all of us because of the profundity of his love.
By evening, the disciples were far from the land and the boat was being battered by a headwind and the sea. Early the next morning, Jesus came walking across the sea toward the boat. The disciples, seeing this, cried out in great fear, but Jesus spoke to them saying, "take heart, it is I, do not be afraid." Peter, always the most impetuous of the disciples, replied to him: "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water". Jesus told him to come, and Peter got out of the boat and started to walk across the water toward Jesus. But quickly he noticed the strong wind, became frightened and began to sink.
"Lord, save me," he cried out and Jesus immediately reached out his hand, caught him and held him up. "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Jesus asked Peter. When Jesus got into the boat, the disciples worshiped him saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."
Now, what is this story all about?
It certainly isn't about Jesus walking on the water, which is what everyone always points to. Rather, I think it is a story about Peter's faith. Jesus never really did tricks. Whatever he did always had a point to it. It is easy to focus on the strange, the miraculous, and miss the point of what is going on. Faith isn't really very easy. Trusting in what we don't know, or aren't sure of is really hard for most of us. We like it much better when there is certainty. We can trust that.
After we retired, Rosie and I moved to Alpine Lake, a resort community in West Virginia. Alpine Lake is in Preston County, high in the mountains with a wonderful golf course, and a tight community of people; but it is rather remote from just about everything else. I remember driving a half hour to get to a grocery store.
We were there for two years, and then I got a call to go and to become the interim rector of the church in Oak Hill, near Beckley in Southern West Virginia. Slowly, we began to recognize that work was important to me, and when the Oak Hill interim was over, we took another assignment in Charleston.
About that time, I began suffering from depression. I had little emotion, it was hard for me to get angry, or to show love, or anything else that stemmed from emotion. I also had some short term memory loss. There was no pain in all of this, but it was obvious to me and to Rosie that something was wrong. A doctor prescribed some anti-depressants, but none of them worked. We were very frustrated, I needed my life back, but I had no idea of what to do.
Finally, my doctor suggested that I get an MRI to see if there was something going on in my brain. The test detected a large menengioma on the left frontal lobe of my brain. It was like a natural lobotomy. I had all of the symptoms. A wonderful team of neurologists had a practice in Charleston and I went to them to see what they could do for me. I was assigned to a new surgeon who was on their staff. I was his first patient in Charleston.
He told me that the surgery was not difficult and that he could do it easily. I did all of the preparation and went to the hospital for the operation. I spent quite a bit of time in prayer over this. I had no control over it at all.
I remember lying on the operating table before the anaesthetic was given to me thinking to myself, I have no idea how this is going to come out, but however it comes out, I know that I will be all right. I felt calm and more or less collected as it all began.
The surgery went well, the tumor was removed and I began the recovery process which went on for a year and a half. My daughters were wonderful and my wife is an angel. Without them I have no idea how I would have recovered. What struck me after it was all over was the miracle of it. I had had the tumor for years, it was very slow growing. When we were in the Preston County mountains, I had no real access to excellent medical care. Somehow, I was moved to Oak Hill, then to Charleston where I met up with a young surgeon who created an excellent outcome for my problem.
Every time that I read the Gospel story of Peter trying to walk on the water toward Jesus, It think of my own dilemma. "Lord, save me!", Peter cries. That echoes the cry from my heart after I found out about my tumor. "Where is your faith, why do you doubt?", said Jesus to Peter. That is what I heard also in the operating room.
Faith is such an elusive, difficult thing to define. Ir means putting your hope and your trust in something beyond yourself. To believe that somehow, the God whom we worship and love will lift us out of the depths, because he loves us too.
I have been with a lot of people when things didn't turn out very well in a crisis. I know also that their prayers were heard by God. I think back to my attitude on that operating table. However this turns out, I thought, I know that I will be all right. For me, that is the depth of faith. My certainty is that whatever befalls us in this life, we are in the hands of the God who loves us all infinitely.
Jesus loved Peter as he lifted him out of the depths of the water. He will do that for all of us because of the profundity of his love.
I love you daddy! I needed to hear this today!
ReplyDeleteJust after your surgery, when you were recovering and in a lot of pain, one of the hardest things for me about that was the worry that we wouldn't you--the you we know and love so much--back. Oh me of little faith! You're a blessing, Dad. I'm glad you're writing these blogs!
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