When my father died in 1968, I was 34 years old and I was devastated. I was the oldest son and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Also, I was deeply in mourning for the father who had done so much to shape me. He had been in decline for a couple of years, and when he died it was almost a blessing. But that didn’t make my mourning any easier. I kept a stiff upper lip, as the British say, and we all got through the funeral and we settled out my mother and what would happen to her. We got her out of their apartment and settled in a place where she could live. There were many things to deal with, as we all find after a death. But I never cried during all of this. There was too much to do, and I felt that it was my responsibility to get it all done. A number of years later, Rosie’s dad had to go to Houston for an operation on his heart. During his recovery, an aneurism broke and he died. I remember collapsing in Rosie’s arms and crying for her dad like I had never cried for mine. I know that was my mourning displaced, and that my grief over my father was very real, and I also loved her dad. It was a terrible time for us all.
I know that you have all had times like that also. We grow up, we mature and in the proper course of this world, death strikes those whom we love, as it will eventually strike all of us. It is never easy to handle. We all know about mourning, and where grief takes us.
In Mark’s gospel, Jesus has just learned about the death of John the Baptist. He needs very much to grieve over this terrible loss. Herod has killed his best friend and his mentor. It couldn’t have been easy news for him to hear.
To deal with all of this with his disciples, Jesus takes them away to what he calls a deserted place so that they can all rest awhile and also so that he can grieve. But grieving was not to be allowed to him at this time. Many people saw Jesus and his followers leave the location where they were and they followed them to their deserted place. They surrounded Jesus and demanded from him teaching and healing. The gospel says that Jesus had compassion on all of these people, and taught them many things. Here the gospel is edited and we don’t hear the story of the feeding of the five thousand which comes next. We’ll save that for another time.
Jesus and his disciples left that deserted place in a boat and went on over the lake to a town called Gennesaret, where they moored their boat. Immediately the people on the shore recognized him and brought their sick to him to be healed. Jesus, in his compassion healed everyone who was brought to him.
Did Jesus ever find time to grieve? It doesn’t seem so. The needs of the people who were around him took precedence over any of his needs.
This gospel speaks to me because it echoes my own experience with the death of my father. I had too much to do to take the time to properly grieve. That is why I postponed my tears for another time. I all hit me when Rosie’s dad died. When I look back on it all, I know that it was the right thing for me to do. The words of the 23rd psalm are helpful to me in all of this:
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I shall fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and
Your staff, they comfort me.
The very idea that God walks with me through everything that I experience in this life is of tremendous significance. I’m never alone, even in my grief. It helps me to know that and it gives me a way to focus my life on the future not on the past and to reflect on the goodness that I have known from these people who have been with me in this life. Thank God for all of them and for the love that I have known.
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